there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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