I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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