Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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