Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
