My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
