yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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