So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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