I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
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I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I supernannyed him into submission
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.