Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
