it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
