Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize