come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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