Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
