i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
last night I used snow as a chaser
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
