I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
you are never too drunk for berry picking
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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