thus making me awesome and them whores
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
