Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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