...so i touched it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
