he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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