So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
