You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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