ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
