okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
