We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
