weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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