who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
