she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
