i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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