If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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