i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She bit a glass in half.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
