I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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