"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Quick, to the slutcave!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
