i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
