No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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