it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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