I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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