so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
