but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
