You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
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When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
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I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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