playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Success! We fucked roommates!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
