I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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