we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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