It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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