The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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