I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
