Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
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She told me I should be a condom model.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
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My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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