found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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