I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So many bounce houses so little time
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
