Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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