Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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