It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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