i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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