I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
