I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I will pee on everything he values.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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