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• (903): View more from Texas

  My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece

  Fav 7 1181 3049

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?

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• (941): View more from Florida

  So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it

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• (805): View more from California

  I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.

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