I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.