I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
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please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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