She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..