just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
