I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
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heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
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If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.