i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
