Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Sober January is a disaster.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
